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DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

003701c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003901c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003b01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003d01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003f01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

004101c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2009

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends,
relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend
the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!


We are expected to perform twice our potential,
while cutting costs

to half……

This is the future performer  ???


Height of cost cutting

7.3223042624@web110611.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

Cost Cutting


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Various Moods at office!!!!!

Boss is not here

In a meeting Training Coffee  break

Before noon on weekend Ready for getting off work Tomorrow is a holiday

Got today’s target from boss Tough target

Find impossible to meet boss’s requirement

OT for 2hrs OT for a whole night

Being notified to OT on weekends
Meet with ‘Sorry-I-Don’t-Know’clients
Made mistakes in work

Little achievement Frustrating things happens

Finance person doesn’t give the money:

Being advised NO RAISE this year

How to Make a Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. One Small Smile

YOUR NAME MEANING

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.

C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.

D = You have trouble trusting people.

E =You are a very exciting person.

F = Everyone loves you.

G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H =You are not judgmental.

I  =You are always smiling and making others smile.

J = Jolly

K =You like to try new things.

L = Love is something you deeply believe in.

M = Success comes easily to you.

N = You like to work, but you always want a break.

O = You are very open-minded.

P =You are very friendly and understanding.

Q = You are a hypocrite.

R =You are a social butterfly.

S = You are very broad-minded.

T = You have an attitude, a big one.

U = You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.

V = You have a very good physique and looks.

W = You like your privacy.

X = You never let people tell you what to do.

Y = You cause a lot of trouble.

Z = You’re always fighting with someone.


1 ) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called

“Saints”

But now they are called.. ” IT professionals ”

http://www.stat.osu.edu/~stat135/images/cartoons/sleep.gif
2 ) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T Shirt:

“If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off”

https://i2.wp.com/www.therallyshack.co.uk/images/Biker%20and%20tattoo%20tshirts/mens%20tshirt%20biker%20survival%20Black.jpg

3. ) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present.. Its just that,

One loves too much, And

the other loves too many,
https://i1.wp.com/www.torquetalk.nl/P1020422.JPG-for-web-normal.jpg

4. ) Employee:

Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS:

Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

https://i0.wp.com/pro.corbis.com/images/42-17670241.jpg

5. ) Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as

GOD ,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

https://i2.wp.com/www.jeffreyventrella.com/God_Dog.jpg

6. ) What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams…!


https://i1.wp.com/farm4.static.flickr.com/3029/2608702105_94d623844e.jpg

7. ) Useful

Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer”

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
https://i1.wp.com/blog.washingtonpost.com/achenblog/rabbit%20ears.jpg

8.) Girl:

Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper:

Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says “To the only boy I ever loved.!”

Girl:

That’s good, Give me 12 of them..!
https://i1.wp.com/www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/csl2344l.jpg

9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: ” WE do have an… opening for you…! “

Applicant:

What is it?

Interviewer:

Its called the “door..!”
https://i1.wp.com/farm1.static.flickr.com/182/396213261_87ca3665b9.jpg

10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Don’t kill our Employee…. . Leave them to us

https://i1.wp.com/www.viweb.freehosting.net/gif/vi100-banner.jpg

If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me

If 10 people care 4 u,
one of them is me,
if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again,
if no 1 cares 4 u that means
i m not in this world.

flame of love in my heart

A candle may melt
and it’s fire may die,
but the love you have
given me will always
stay as a flame in my heart.


sound of your breath on my neck

If I could have ,
I would wish to wake up everyday
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine…
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
With anyone other than you.

we will always be there for one another

When it rains, you dont see the sun, but its there.
Hope we can be like that.
We dont always see each other,
but we will always be there for one another.

You make me miss you so much!

Whenever I miss you stars falls down
from the sky,so any day,
if you find the sky empty
don’t blame me!It’s your fault
You make me miss you so much!


i will be there…Trust Me!!

U may miss me
U may ignore me
U may even forget me
But one day if u wanna c me
Don’t search, just see your shadow
i will be there…Trust Me!!

R: is for red, RED: is for blood

R: is for red.
RED: is for blood
BLOOD: is for heart
HEART: is for love
LOVE: is for you
YOU: is for me
ME: is for you.
:: I MISS YOU ::

Sometimes

Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
Sometimes, my msg doesn’t reach u,
But, it doesn’t mean that I forget u,
I’m just giving u time to miss me!

Tabiyat udas si rehati hai

Khayalo ko kisi aahat ki aas rehati hai,
nighao ko kisi surat ki pyas rehati hai,
tere bin kisi cheez ki kami to nahi,
magar tere SMS bin tabiyat udas si rehati hai…


At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: ‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?’


The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’ Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’ Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’ Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

‘That day,’ said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.’

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’ So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

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Fun & Fun


Ravi Shanker - Ravi Shanker

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Ravi Shanker - Ravi Shanker