Funology | Fun and Fun | Ravi Shanker

 

Husband Apna Aisa Bright Ho

Husband Apna Aisa Bright Ho

Aur Husband Kaisa Ho… 

 

Aisa apna husband ho

6′ – 6’2″ jiski height ho

Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho

biwi ke har nakhre uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

 

 

uff tak na kare itna quiet ho

dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho

shopping kar ke jab bhi aoon, bole begum tum kitni nice ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

 

mujhey rani bana kar rakhe, to phir zindagi delight ho

saas sasur ke samne kahe, jaan tum hamesha right ho

hamesha jo haar maan jaye jab bhi koi fight ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

 

jahan chahoon jaoon, jo chahey karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho

har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho


aisa ho jaye to mein udoon aasmaan mei, jaise ke koi kite ho


husband apna aisa bright ho !!!
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Stress relief exercise

 

  

  

 

We

all have stress in our lives

 to some degree,

 how

 do

 you

deal

 with

 stress

 in

your life?????

  

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Applications are invited for the following post. The package and

Incentives are mentioned below.

Designation                : Junior girl friend (trainee)

Experience                 : Must have ditched at least 2 guys
(Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)

other requirement      : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age                            : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them) Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross (Monthly):


·      2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
·      Bike rides each duration 1 hour
·      trips to National Highways

·      5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
·      Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days

·      Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
·      2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
·      Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability
and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining

The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:

1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above-mentioned conditions.

There is more:


For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. To the email address via mail

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

003701c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003901c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003b01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003d01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

003f01c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

004101c932f5$126735e0$ad0218ac@cgw8gb7o07f1sg

Cost Cutting

EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2009

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends,
relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend
the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!


We are expected to perform twice our potential,
while cutting costs

to half……

This is the future performer  ???


Height of cost cutting

7.3223042624@web110611.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

Cost Cutting


Various Moods at office!!!!!

Boss is not here

In a meeting Training Coffee  break

Before noon on weekend Ready for getting off work Tomorrow is a holiday

Got today’s target from boss Tough target

Find impossible to meet boss’s requirement

OT for 2hrs OT for a whole night

Being notified to OT on weekends
Meet with ‘Sorry-I-Don’t-Know’clients
Made mistakes in work

Little achievement Frustrating things happens

Finance person doesn’t give the money:

Being advised NO RAISE this year

How to Make a Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. One Small Smile

Funny–Killing English—–
Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating  near girls hostel pulling cigerette…? “

*********************************************************************

Class teacher once said :

” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”

*******************************************

once hindi teacher said….”i’m going out of the world to america..”

*******************************************

“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”

*******************************************

dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..

*******************************************

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)

*******************************************

teacher in a furious mood…

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

*******************************************

“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”

*******************************************

My manager started like this

“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”

*******************************************

“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board

*******************************************

“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”

****************************** *************

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”

*******************************************

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…

“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”

*******************************************

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

*******************************************

“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”

*******************************************

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

********************************************

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”

November 2017
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Fun & Fun


Ravi Shanker - Ravi Shanker

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Ravi Shanker - Ravi Shanker