Funology | Fun and Fun | Ravi Shanker

Husband Apna Aisa Bright Ho

ravi9237 — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:43:32 +0000

Husband Apna Aisa Bright Ho

Aur Husband Kaisa Ho…

Aisa apna husband ho

6′ – 6′2″ jiski height ho

Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho

biwi ke har nakhre uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

uff tak na kare itna quiet ho

dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho

shopping kar ke jab bhi aoon, bole begum tum kitni nice ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

mujhey rani bana kar rakhe, to phir zindagi delight ho

saas sasur ke samne kahe, jaan tum hamesha right ho

hamesha jo haar maan jaye jab bhi koi fight ho

husband apna aisa bright ho.

jahan chahoon jaoon, jo chahey karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho

har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho

aisa ho jaye to mein udoon aasmaan mei, jaise ke koi kite ho

husband apna aisa bright ho !!!

Stress relief exercise

ravi9237 — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:26:51 +0000

Stress relief exercise

We

all have stress in our lives

to some degree,

how

do

you

deal

with

stress

in

your life?????

Happy Valentines Day

ravi9237 — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 11:18:53 +0000

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and

Incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)

Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys
(Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)

other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them) Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross (Monthly):

·      2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
·      Bike rides each duration 1 hour
·      trips to National Highways
·      5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
·      Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
·      Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
·      2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
·      Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability
and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining

The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:

1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above-mentioned conditions.

There is more:

For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. To the email address via mail

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected

Cost Cutting

ravi9237 — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:06:20 +0000

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

Cost Cutting

EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2009

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends,
relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend
the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

We are expected to perform twice our potential,

while cutting costs

to half……

This is the future performer ???

Height of cost cutting

Cost Cutting

Various Moods at office

ravi9237 — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:58:53 +0000

Various Moods at office!!!!!

Boss is not here

In a meeting Training Coffee break

Before noon on weekend Ready for getting off work Tomorrow is a holiday

Got today’s target from boss Tough target

Find impossible to meet boss’s requirement

OT for 2hrs OT for a whole night

Being notified to OT on weekends
Meet with ‘Sorry-I-Don’t-Know’clients Made mistakes in work

Little achievement Frustrating things happens

Finance person doesn’t give the money:

Being advised NO RAISE this year

How to Make a Woman & Man Happy

ravi9237 — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:19:58 +0000

How to Make a Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. One Small Smile

Funny–Killing English—–

ravi9237 — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:25:48 +0000

Funny–Killing English—–
Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette…? “

*********************************************************************

Class teacher once said :

” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”

*******************************************

once hindi teacher said….”i’m going out of the world to america..”

*******************************************

“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”

*******************************************

dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..

*******************************************

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)

*******************************************

teacher in a furious mood…

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

*******************************************

“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”

*******************************************

My manager started like this

“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”

*******************************************

“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board

*******************************************

“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”

****************************** *************

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”

*******************************************

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…

“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”

*******************************************

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

*******************************************

“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”

*******************************************

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

********************************************

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”

CHECK YOUR NAME MEANING

ravi9237 — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:00:55 +0000

YOUR NAME MEANING

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.

C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.

D = You have trouble trusting people.

E =You are a very exciting person.

F = Everyone loves you.

G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H =You are not judgmental.

I =You are always smiling and making others smile.

J = Jolly

K =You like to try new things.

L = Love is something you deeply believe in.

M = Success comes easily to you.

N = You like to work, but you always want a break.

O = You are very open-minded.

P =You are very friendly and understanding.

Q = You are a hypocrite.

R =You are a social butterfly.

S = You are very broad-minded.

T = You have an attitude, a big one.

U = You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.

V = You have a very good physique and looks.

W = You like your privacy.

X = You never let people tell you what to do.

Y = You cause a lot of trouble.

Z = You’re always fighting with someone.

Life is like that……..

ravi9237 — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:34:30 +0000

There are 2 people always next to you:

1 – The M (Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time he sees you.

2 – The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for you….. And busy in his world

And In between its YOU, who struggles with all the WORK…?!!

The perfect picture is given below…… {Team leader — YOU — Manager}

SCROLL DOWN

Team leader YOU Manager

Life is like that………….

Jokes fun time……..

ravi9237 — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:34:02 +0000

1 ) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called

“Saints”

But now they are called.. ” IT professionals “

2 ) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T Shirt:

“If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off”

3. ) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present.. Its just that,

One loves too much, And

the other loves too many,

4. ) Employee:

Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS:

Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5. ) Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as

GOD ,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

6. ) What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams…!

7. ) Useful

Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer”

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

8.) Girl:

Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper:

Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says “To the only boy I ever loved.!”

Girl:

That’s good, Give me 12 of them..!

9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: ” WE do have an… opening for you…! “

Applicant:

What is it?

Interviewer:

Its called the “door..!”

10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Don’t kill our Employee…. . Leave them to us

Funology | Fun and Fun | Ravi Shanker

Husband Apna Aisa Bright Ho

Stress relief exercise

We

all have stress in our lives

to some degree,

how

do

you

deal

with

stress

in

your life?????

Happy Valentines Day

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and

Incentives are mentioned below.

Cost Cutting

Various Moods at office

How to Make a Woman & Man Happy

How to Make a Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. One Small Smile

Funny–Killing English—–

CHECK YOUR NAME MEANING

YOUR NAME MEANING

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.

C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.

D = You have trouble trusting people.

E =You are a very exciting person.

F = Everyone loves you.

G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H =You are not judgmental.

I =You are always smiling and making others smile.

J = Jolly

K =You like to try new things.

L = Love is something you deeply believe in.

M = Success comes easily to you.

N = You like to work, but you always want a break.

O = You are very open-minded.

P =You are very friendly and understanding.

Q = You are a hypocrite.

R =You are a social butterfly.

S = You are very broad-minded.

T = You have an attitude, a big one.

U = You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.

V = You have a very good physique and looks.

W = You like your privacy.

X = You never let people tell you what to do.

Y = You cause a lot of trouble.

Z = You’re always fighting with someone.

Life is like that……..

Jokes fun time……..

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes